For much of last June, I had the pleasure of wandering around many of Britain’s stone circles and other sacred monuments. This was a manifestation of a long-held dream, begun in the 1960s, when I was driving from London to Bath England with my four-year-old son, and we came face to face with Stonehenge, looming in the mists of the Salisbury plain. At that time there was no protective fence guarding these majestic standing stones, and my son and I leapt out of the car and played among them with awe. I had no frame of reference for the energy I was feeling then. I just knew it was magical and that I wanted to return someday.
On this recent trip, more than forty years later, I was much more savvy. I knew a great deal about the power of stone circles—or so I thought. What I didn’t expect was the sense of spiritual sex connection I felt when I was in and around these stones. It was as if these massive beings were speaking directly to me from thousands of years past—each circle offering different wisdom.
From the towering sarsens of Stonehenge I sensed direct connection between heaven and earth, as if the circle was transmitting vibrant energy to the sun, moon, and stars and back again. Barefoot, in the center of the stones, I felt fully electricrified—energized and excited, as if I, too could reach the stars.
A totally different wisdom emanated from the Castlerigg stones, which are surrounded by a bowl of windswept mountains in England’s lake district, and erected some 2,000 years earlier than Stonehenge. Here, there was a sense of containment and comfort and gratitude that opened my heart and made me want to hug and kiss every stone like long lost lovers. These Castlerigg stones seemed to invite a kind of intimacy with all comers, and in the three days I spent with them over the summer solstice, I delighted in watching a constant stream of adults, kids, and dogs climbing all over them as if they were part of the family.
Yet another energy came rom the sprawling Avebury Rings, where hundreds of sheep grazed on the slopes of prehistoric earthworks. Walking here, a sense of community shone forth, as the vast circles and alleys of surviving stones wove through the pubs and shops and homes that had sprouted among them over the centuries
What was so surprising and moving to me was that all of these messages from the stones affirmed what I’ve been learning and teaching in my ISIS circles as part of expanding the practice of sex therapy. Connection, containment, and community are all essential for a fully relational expression of spiritual sex: Connection to provide the grandeur of the axis mundi; containment to provide safety enough to open the heart; and community to ground us in our everyday lives, where sexual energy thrives.
This is affirmation and wisdom I’ll be bringing into my ISIS teaching from now on. Scientists may argue that this kind of information is not quantifiable and evidence-based. But to me, this learning about spiritual sex connection is elegant and profound: contemporary wisdom directly from ancient sources, and ultimately teachable to both therapists and clients.